Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

The “Jesus take the wheel” lady had more fun things to say as the service continued. Since she was having a tough time enduring her first wax, I was busy telling her funny stories that kept her laughing hysterically. When I was almost finished and we were both laughing so hard, I had to take a break, she yelled, “this is the best worst experience ever!” Music to my ears.

After 20 plus years waxing, I still get blown away when a “first” happens at Mark & M.E. Yesterday, a woman kept saying the same phrase over and over again quite loudly. It was her first time ever getting a Brazilian.  I couldn’t figure out what she was saying at first. All I heard clearly was the “Jesus” part of the phrase. She said the odd expression about a dozen times before I realized what she was yelling. “Jesus take the wheel!” was the animated exclamation of choice. Once I figured out what she was saying, my reply was “he took the freaking wheel already!”

This is the kind of review that makes our day!   “The only place that can make an uncomfortable waxing service something you look forward to!”

Some salons offer side-by-side massages. Mark & M.E. offers side-by-side Brazilian Bikini Waxes. The conversations when couples are in the room are often hysterical and too fun not to share. Like the other day when a woman told her husband that there was a highly delicate part of his anatomy that looked like a baboon.

I can’t believe it! The sequel to A Promise of Passion is at Barnes & Noble!!!!!!
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/passion+never+dies?_requestid=828813

I’m off to get a full body check at the dermatologist and remembered an interesting story. One day, I gave a woman her first Brazilian. I think she was in her 50’s. I remember she had thick, dark hair. When I removed the hair on her labia, I saw a funky looking mole. I asked her if she ever had it checked. She didn’t know it was there. It was hidden by hair. I asked her if she tanned naked in the 80’s like the rest of us. She did. I suggested she get it looked at. Thank God she did. It was stage one melanoma. They removed part of her labia and were able to get it all. Getting a Brazilian may have saved her life.

Women can be very self-conscious about their bodies and will often share their insecurities with me. Someone asked me if her vagina looked like most women’s or if it looked different. Believe it or not, I get asked this quite a lot. I told her vaginas are like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike.

I know that I am widely known in Rochester, but I don’t understand why any technician would brag she was trained by me if it’s a blatant lie. A woman got waxed where she gets her hair done. It took almost an hour, was extremely painful, and she was put in different positions than I put women in. The girl said she worked for me and was trained by me. I’ve never heard of the girl before. There are a handful of women in town who have been trained by me, and they have emulated my technique quite well.  There are also several technicians in town who lie and say I trained them and I did not. If it takes an hour and you are put in a doggie-style position, rest assured she isn’t one of my proteges.

When I walked into the gym, one of the employees stopped me. He heard A Promise of Passion was a good book and wanted to buy a couple copies. Luckily I had some in the trunk of my car. It was an exciting way to start my day!

A two year old came to the salon with his mommy. He noticed that we have naked statues in our waiting room. He commented that the women were naked. As it turns out, he likes to do the naked dance (in his diaper, of course.) Well, little fellow, there are thousands of women who leave Mark & M.E. with their perfectly primped lady-parts who also love to do the naked dance. Welcome to the club!