Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Labor day weekend is a special holiday for Mark & M.E. In 1991, we had our son Adryan on that Sunday. In 1992, we had our daughter Kaylah on that Monday. It has always been a special weekend for us, so we hope everyone is having an awesome day!

Here’s one of my poems in its entirety from The Happy Trail which I am trying to finish this weekend.  What do you think?

I’ve worked at the salon for 25 years and it surprises many that I totally changed career paths to work with my husband. Most people say they’d never be able to work with their spouse. I just don’t get that. Why would you marry someone you couldn’t stand to be around all day? I hated working at school and only seeing Mark at night and on weekends when we were tired or had a ton of chores to do. It was an awkward time in our relationship and things just didn’t run smoothly, because we didn’t have enough time together. I think when you love someone, you should want to be with them as much as possible. I still enjoy my alone time at the gym or when I’m reading or writing, but, for the most part, I want to be with my husband. Maybe I’m sounding a little sentimental this morning, but Mark and our son Adryan left at 4:30 this morning to drive to Denver and I’m going to miss both my guys.

There was a lot of talk about cats at Mark & M.E. yesterday. One girl told me her man couldn’t wait for her to get back from her appointment with me, but she was planning on telling him that her kitty would be too angry to play until tomorrow. I had another woman just refer to her kitty as being really furry, which was remedied in about ten minutes.  But the best one came towards the end of my day. A woman told her boss that she had to leave work early, because she had to taking her kitty to the groomers. Love my new job description!

Finishing up my 3rd book this weekend.  There is a lot of saucy poetry in it. Here is part of a poem called Dr. ME. I didn’t want to print the whole poem, because there just may be a naughty word or two in it. 

When I ask a woman to roll on her side to wax between her cheeks, I often just say “give me your ass.” I know it may seem a little crude, but if you think about what I’m doing and the body part I’m working on, then you should be able to understand why I use that phrase. It’s a no-nonensense approach to the part of the service many find humiliating. And that’s silly, because it is just another place that shouldn’t have hair. I had a woman bring in her cousin for a Honeymoon Brazilian. The bride was very nervous when I asked her to roll on her side, because she was afraid it was going to hurt and she was very embarrased about sticking her backside in my face.  I told her that people love the ass.  She started laughing and asked why. There are three main reasons. 1. It means I’m almost done. 2. It doesn’t hurt. 3. It’s amazing not having hair around your rectum. And now she is a believer too!

Never underestimate the power of a strong woman!

It’s funny how many people tell me I’m perfect for my job. You have to wonder what makes a person perfect for ripping hair out of men’s and women’s gentalia. Being comfortable with nudity is a must. Having a sense of humor doesn’t hurt. Believing in the service is key. Perfecting your craft is imperative. And having a strong stomach isn’t a bad idea either.

I had a bride thank me yesterday for my blog a few days ago about selfless love. I told the story about how Mark has exposed himself to 9 MRI’s with me just to make me feel safe, even though he is putting himself at risk. And it made me think of something else that is really important in successful relationships that I thought I would share. There have been times in our marriage that I have been afraid to be completely honest with my husband, because I was afraid he would judge me or like or love me less.  And every time I mustered the courage to be completely truthful with him, it has always gone way better than I imagined. He has always accepted me, warts and all. I always feel like such an asshole for not trusting in his love, but I get scared that I’ll disappoint him or make him angry. If you believe in your man, trust him with complete honesty. It’s a great aphrodisiac.

It bums me out that there are so many people in our community who are so unhappy with what they do for a living.  Every day, clients are ecstatic that the day is over or it’s finally the weekend. I know that it is tough in this economy to find that perfect job that you’ve always dreamed of. I also understand that college can be expensive. But I do wish more people would take a chance on finding a career path that brought them more joy. Work shouldn’t be such a chore. And if you see it as a means to an end, then what’s the end? When you croak?  I’m sad to see my work day end.  I don’t run out of the salon at the end of the day in a desperate rush to get the hell out of there. The only reason I’m happy going home is to be with my family and rest my body parts which are usually pretty tired. I’m not sure what the answer is. I guess if you have no other employment choice, maybe you should try to find more happiness where you’re currently at?
~quest for eternal happiness~